I had dinner with my mom and one of my (three, not including step siblings) younger brothers, Joshua. Most people call him Josh but I refuse to call him that because I used to hear my mother rant about how his name was Joshua for a reason (likely the whole Jericho thing) and she hated 'Josh'. But now everyone calls him Josh–– even my mom. Everyone except me. I still like Joshua. It sounds strong and confident (also likely because of the whole Jericho thing). In all seriousness, though, Joshua was an incredibly cool character in the Bible. I'd name my kid after him too. My boyfriend, Brady, came to dinner with us too.
Of course the main topic was my father. He's always the main topic among any family discussions minus the ones that he starts. He would never talk about himself that much, mostly because he's too prideful to ever sound prideful.
I don't really have time right now to get into my father and all the complexities that come along with him, because yet again, I'm up past my "bedtime". I don't really have a bedtime, but I like to say that I do so that maybe one day I'll believe myself and actually get some freaking rest.
Just know that my dad hasn't talked to me since Christmas day, ending with a terrible goodbye. It didn't really start off that great either. It was very awkward and I felt totally out of place in the very home I grew up in. Thankfully, my boyfriend and his family turned Christmas around for me. They always seem to bring it back to center for me. I'm really, really thankful for that. I just wish my family could come around. Specifically my dad. Maybe he won't ever come around though, and maybe (more than likely), he's thinking the same thing about me. And maybe we'll just have to learn to love each other anyway.
If that can't make me tired, I don't know if anything can.
I'm really glad I got to have dinner with the three of them tonight. It made me smile. I think Brady was a little annoyed that the subject seemed to constantly revolve around my dad and his shortcomings, which I can't say I blame him for, but I'm still thankful he came and was by my side. I love that he is by my side.
Goodnight.
Of course the main topic was my father. He's always the main topic among any family discussions minus the ones that he starts. He would never talk about himself that much, mostly because he's too prideful to ever sound prideful.
I don't really have time right now to get into my father and all the complexities that come along with him, because yet again, I'm up past my "bedtime". I don't really have a bedtime, but I like to say that I do so that maybe one day I'll believe myself and actually get some freaking rest.
Just know that my dad hasn't talked to me since Christmas day, ending with a terrible goodbye. It didn't really start off that great either. It was very awkward and I felt totally out of place in the very home I grew up in. Thankfully, my boyfriend and his family turned Christmas around for me. They always seem to bring it back to center for me. I'm really, really thankful for that. I just wish my family could come around. Specifically my dad. Maybe he won't ever come around though, and maybe (more than likely), he's thinking the same thing about me. And maybe we'll just have to learn to love each other anyway.
If that can't make me tired, I don't know if anything can.
I'm really glad I got to have dinner with the three of them tonight. It made me smile. I think Brady was a little annoyed that the subject seemed to constantly revolve around my dad and his shortcomings, which I can't say I blame him for, but I'm still thankful he came and was by my side. I love that he is by my side.
Goodnight.
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