Dear God,

I just want to feel you near.

 I just want to hear it from you-- that you're close, that you're not letting go, that you won't let me stay down forever, that you will work all things together for good because I love you.

I know you're listening. I know you're watching. I know you're defending me and protecting me even as I wait to hear you speak.

I know that I'm not spending enough time with you. I know that I should be praying more. I should be spending so much more time in your word. I know it isn't an excuse, God, but I am so weary. I feel it down in my bones, deep in my soul. Exhaustion has creeped into my body like a disease and it has claimed to own my body and mind like a property.

I know this isn't the life you intended for me. I know that there is more. Exceedingly, abundantly, immeasurably more. I'm scared that you're angry with me. But deep down, I hear a faint echo of a truth my heart once knew well: you are a good father. Like the prodigal son returning to the open arms of his Dad, I know your arms are open too. I know this is who you are.

So, here I am, God. I love you with my whole heart. I want to do better. I want to be better. I want to live fully, walking in peace and joy.

Here I am.

Here's my weak, humble offering. My heart. All of it.

Take it, God. It's yours completely. Mold it into whatever you want it to be. Make me like Jesus.

Speak to me, God. I don't deserve to hear from you but I crave your voice like water. Bring me back into the fullness of your presence.